My Hilarious Dad—This Week

Bedtime Suggestion

I'd had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When bed- time finally came, I laid down the law: "We're putting on your p.j.s, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book. Then it's lights out!"

Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and she said, "We learned in Sunday school about little boys and girls who don't have mommies and daddies."

Even after I'd been such a grouch, I thought, she was still grateful to have me. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, and then she whispered, "Maybe you could go be THEIR mom?"

Source:
The Cybersalt Digest
A Ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communications
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

-----------------------------------

A Boot Funny

The teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots. He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

No sooner than they got the boots off he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry, but she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

[forwarded by Lynn Shough]

Source:
http://www.mikeysFunnies.com
MIKEY'S FUNNIES is brought to you by...
Mike Atkinson @ http://www.uneekNet.com ... helping organizations succeed on the web

-----------------------------------

First Man

A Sunday School teacher asked little Willie who the first man in the Bible was.

"Hoss." said Willie.

"Wrong," said the teacher. "It was Adam."

"Aw, shucks!" Willie replied. "I knew it was one of those Cartwrights."

Source:
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor

------------------------------------

Remember Lot's Wife?

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jimmy interrupted.

"My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"


Truth about Children

- A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.

- A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

- A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

- A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

- Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.

- Celibacy is not hereditary.

- Familiarity breeds children.

- For adult education, nothing beats children.

- Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

- Having children will turn you into your parents.

- If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

- Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.

Source:
The Funnies by Dave Anderson
andychaps_the-funnies@yahoogroups.com

--------------------------------------

(It is our practice in The LORD My Dad on Wednesdays to lighten up and post humor or inspiration. We do so to call attention also to the humorous facet of the LORD's character.--SDO)