My Hilarious Dad--This Week

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My daughter, bless her heart, shared this one to me:

One day, God paid George a visit in his New York home and told him that since he has been such a faithful servant, he may request any one thing, and God will grant it.

After thinking about it for a moment, George asked for a freeway from his home to Hawaii so he doesn’t have to fly anymore.

God replied, “My son, do you realize what you are asking for? Building a freeway that size will deplete the resources of your planet so severely, it could cause a catastrophic imbalance in your eco-system. Is there another request you might want to make?”

George said, “Well, I would really like to understand my wife. You see, I’m having a tough time seeing just what makes her tick. I would really love to have the wisdom to grasp what she is all about.”

And God answered, “How many lanes did you want on that freeway?”

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Goliath."

"Goliath who?"

"Goliath down, you looketh tired."

http://www.cybersaltlists.org

Here is today's CleanLaugh.

Employee: I have been here 11 years doing three men's work for one man's pay. Now I want a raise.

Boss: Well, I can't give you a raise, but if you'll tell me who the other two men are, I'll fire them.

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Navy Way

A friend of mine joined the Navy and soon after he had completed boot camp, he was invited to be in a friend's wedding. He asked an officer for a pass and was told he had to be back by 7 p.m. Sunday.

"You don't understand, sir," my friend said. "I'm in the wedding."

The officer replied, "No, YOU don't understand. You're in the Navy."

http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/

Aboard the USS TARAWA for six months, my brother Don posted a picture of his beloved truck in his locker. Since his fellow Marines had pictures of their girlfriends posted, they often ridiculed him for his object of adoration.

"Laugh all you want," Don told them. "At least my truck will still be there when I get home."

http://www.cybersaltlists.org

John was furious when his steak arrived too rare.

"Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say 'well done'?"

"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

An elderly couple was crossing the Canadian border to go to their winter recluse in Florida. At the crossing they were stopped by an over-zealous border guard, on his first day at work. He commenced to ask the couple a battery of questions.

The husband, on behalf of his almost deaf wife, answered the barrage of queries.

Officer: "Where are you going?"

Husband: "We're on vacation and going to Florida."

Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"

Husband: "He wants to know where we're going."

Officer: "How long will you be gone?"

Husband: "About one month."

Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"

Husband: "He wants to know how long we'll be gone."

Officer: "Where are you from?"

Husband: "We're from Toronto, Ontario."

Officer: "Toronto, huh. I was there once. Nice city.

Had the worst date experience in my life."

Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"

Husband: "He says he knows you!"

http://www.cybersaltlists.org